Flat-D flatulence pads keep the aromatic power of your toots under wraps


So let me paint a not so pretty picture for you. You spend all day gorging on beans, broccoli, burritos and Ex-Lax. Then, in an unbelievable turn of events, you are invited to a gala ball with the Governor. Not to mention your dream mate will also be in attendance. What do you do? Let’s be honest. Your butt is gonna be a-tootin’ so much that you are likely to be thrown out before the second serving of fois gras! It’s a real slobs vs snobs scenario. If only there was a new technology that could help hide your flatulent ways from the rest of the world.

Well, never turn down a gala invite again now that Flat-D Flatulence Deodorizer pads are on the scene. These, um, handy gadgets prevent anyone from knowing just how much beans you truly consumed for your last meal. How do they work? They stick to the inside of your underwear, right over your toot-hole. Hey, I’m trying to be clean here. This is a family website. Anyways, these activated charcoal pads absorb the offending odor before it escapes and wreaks havoc. The result? Nobody is the wiser and go on about your day with a slight grin on your face. You showed them.

They are available right now, so you flatulence fanatics ought to get on it. These disposable pads are just thirty bucks for a pack of ten. If that seems like a lot of money, just imagine how much it would cost if you started farting in court right before the jury deliberated your fate. Cleanliness(or pretend cleanliness) is next to Godliness, after all.

Check below for a video on how it works and some images. Don’t worry. It’s all safe for work. This is, again, a family website.