Dystopia Alert – Surgically Implanted Headphones Are Now a Thing


It’s hard to think that a mere forty years ago or so, headphones simply did not exist. If you wanted to listen to music you had to sit around a record player like some kind of caveman. Jogging? You had to do that while listening to the putter putter of the actual world. Sitting in the subway? You had to do that while listening to the putter putter of the half naked guy standing next to you. In short, life was a miserable affair before one of the first representations of wearable technology came on the scene. Well now, thanks to extreme science, the humble headphone is getting a cyberpunk headphone. Are you prepared for surgically implanted cans?

A man named Rich Lee becomes the world’s very first human with headphones surgically implanted in his ears. Now he’ll never have to worry about if he brought ’em so he can jam the new Mumford and Sons during a walk to the local deli(Rich is a dork like that.) Still, there are some heavy body modification concerns at play here. If headphones are now to be installed in the human body proper, what is next and where does it stop? Maybe smart watches and smartphones will give way to, uh, smart bodies. This is coming all too soon.

It works, though. To control volume all he does is move an attached coil and amplifier closer to his ears. He plans on eventually adding in GPS and a microphone so he can follow directions on the fly and also, ahem, listen in to faraway conversations. Don’t be creepy Rich!