Here is a Smartwatch Designed to Keep You Awake

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Ah, the age old question of how to stay awake throughout eternal days filled with sameness. Some people use coffee (most people use coffee.) Some people get hooked on illicit drugs and end up a cautionary tale on a Law and Order episode. Some people hire other people to smack them whenever their eyelids droop. Now, however, there is a new option – wearable technology! Although, to be fair, the tech underlying this gadget has quite a lot to do with the latter solution than the former. In other words, here is a smartwatch that is heavy on the smack, not so heavy on the caffeine.

Introducing the Spark watch, the wearable that keeps you awake throughout the day. How in the heck does it do this? Well, a nuanced look at the name of the product sort of gives it away. Yeah. It shocks the ever-loving heck out of you whenever it notices you have begun to fall asleep. Cool! Just like my ex-wife (wait, what.) They call it a ‘gentle vibration’ but aint no gentle vibrations waking me up when I want to go to sleep. In other news, the battery life lasts 4 days on one charge, just in case you find yourself having to stay awake to catch a serial killer in Alaska or something (and your name is Al Pacino.)

If you want to be able to use the sweet, sweet power of electricity in order to remain awake, you’ll have to saunter on over to the product’s Kickstarter page, where you can pre-order one for the very reasonable price of $39.